im drinking this country out of the recession.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
