her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
