If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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