Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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