he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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