brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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