It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
time to smoke my breakfast
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
