So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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