Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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