just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It's just like the Real World with babies
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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