1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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