found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
