I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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