I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
