He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
