your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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