I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
