My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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