his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
