So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Randomize
