so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
