im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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