im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
