Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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