VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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