So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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