Will you blow on my dice?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
