She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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