I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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