Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
