i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize