it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
