okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize