i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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