Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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