let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the day after is always just damage control
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
