She's JV to your varsity
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
