I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
