Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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