Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
