I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
