Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
did i walk over a car last night?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
