I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
