those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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