If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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