I think I am morally bankrupt
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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