We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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