You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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