i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
