New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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