I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize