You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
