i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
