I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
