AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize