Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
