found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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