I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
