I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's blow job season.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
