definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
