so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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