I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i would punch a child for taco bell
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
