So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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