Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
