so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
third nipple confirmed
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
