On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize