I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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