If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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