Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
