dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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